tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78109439243016483502011-08-01T19:02:44.313-07:00Dad packs his first son off to school and sends along lunch.Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.comBlogger321100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-63170618979582485622010-06-04T07:34:00.000-07:002010-06-04T07:37:43.121-07:00

So that's it. Kindergarten is over. And this is what I sent with Primo as his final lunch of the school year. It was fragile enough that I went ahead and walked it to his table. Buzz's torso is a carved granny smith apple. The buttons are multi-colored maraschino cherries. Red, green and blue. The blue cherries are raspberry-flavored. Effin' miracles, man. His face is a banana set in a black

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-81720472477346960622010-05-14T11:21:00.000-07:002010-05-14T12:58:11.522-07:00

This is the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz. He's mostly noodles stir-fried with snow-pea bows, carrot poppies, and broccoli florets. The crown is yellow carrot, his face is sliced turkey and roast beef and his muzzle is a pork dumpling. We checked out the Wizard audiobook from the library a few weeks ago and it went over bigger than I ever would have expected. Whenever pledge time rolls

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-37997870519774827062010-05-04T14:15:00.000-07:002010-05-04T14:16:49.724-07:00

This is a piranha plant from the Mario games. (Was that too much information about a minor character from a video game? I can't really tell anymore.) It's a Red Baron pizza with a slice of Genoa salami and provolone, broccoli, cucumber for the stem and stars and lettuce leaves (the first harvest from our garden this year!)   Sometimes my schedule dictates that I make these lunches after I drop

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-78198600839179694222010-04-21T09:24:00.000-07:002010-04-21T09:25:19.253-07:00

You may not recognize Raymond the firefly here from The Princess and the Frog. If not, check it out because it's really a great movie. He's got a lot of the same ingredients as Tarzan, with the additions of blueberries and bananas for the night sky. The real fireflies will be out soon, and we've been enjoying the warming evenings and our new lawn (it's possible our house is still a Superfund site

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-67791825814299136242010-04-15T11:07:00.000-07:002010-04-15T11:21:50.956-07:00

At right is the Disney version of Tarzan. From the movie so nice, Tarzan's dad dies twice. He's an open-faced sandwich with turkey for the face, provolone eyes and roast beef dreadlocks. And no, you may not use "Roast Beef Dreadlocks" as the name for your indie band. Or "Provolone Eyes," for that matter. The floral embellishments are spinach leaves, kiwi fruit and sliced red and orange sweet

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-72824481684971927822010-04-07T11:22:00.000-07:002010-04-07T11:27:47.519-07:00

At right is a "goomba" from the Mario video games made from red Thai rice, homemade naan and rajma masala (red beans in sauce - from a packet.) There are white sesame seeds to separate the head from the feet and the naan is doing double duty since it has light (eyes and teeth) and mottled (eyebrows and pupils) sides. After the borrowing of the wii, I insisted on a break from Mario talk and got a

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-62328725696582438762010-03-27T08:38:00.000-07:002010-03-27T08:41:57.533-07:00

At right is Bomberman, a character who briefly wrested Primo's imagination from Mario. He's made of ham, roast beef and turkey on wheat with red and yellow carrot accents, a bomb carved from a BabyBel cheese round and a taro root chip for his body. The black at the lower right is licorice. Bomberman's time at the top lasted about as long as this lunch did. Primo had a four-day weekend last week

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-9358736251894887072010-03-06T08:12:00.000-08:002010-03-06T08:12:11.958-08:00

This was, admittedly, more topical a week or two ago. It's gold medalist Shaun White in pepperoni, cantaloupe, grapes, carrot, cherry tomato and Cheez-It on a hot dog snowboard. There is some provolone cheese behind him for contrast. The rings are zucchini, pepperoni, egg, nori and yellow squash. The finger food beneath is Cheez-Its, goldfish, strawberries and carrots and the snow is egg.When the

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-18844385758011753662010-02-16T18:51:00.000-08:002010-02-16T18:56:01.767-08:00

I used broccoli to define Big Bird in this dish of macaroni and cheese. His beak is a sweet yellow pepper, his tongue is sweet red pepper and his eyes and detail feathers are Swiss cheese. Big Bird's pupils are tiny bits of nori.There are a lot of things i couldn't imagine myself saying before I had kids.  Not so much in the sense of giving voice to a feeling I never expected to have. Not like "I

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-83071684106407615592010-02-06T08:19:00.000-08:002010-02-08T09:38:54.539-08:00

Are you a fireman who wants to know what's in the dish above, but the fire alarm is going off, so you kinda feel guilty reading this, but you know if you went to the fire wondering about what my son had for lunch it would distract you enough that it might interfere with your job, and that could end up being worse than just being late? If so, I'm sorry I didn't respond directly to your emails -

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-14557217840580796632010-01-24T19:42:00.000-08:002010-01-24T19:43:55.397-08:00

Primo's class had a pajama party, so this is what I sent with him. The P's are pineapple, the puppy's head is cheddar, his ears and the stars and moons on his pajamas are Havarti. The pajamas themselves are black forest ham, the nightcap is corned beef. The tablecloth is Muenster cheese with corned beef overlay. There are radish slices underneath it. The pear on the plate is ... pear. There's a

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-76902068987989366022010-01-15T08:21:00.000-08:002010-01-17T06:38:28.277-08:00

You know what's a part of parenthood? Sacrifice. Not the ritual kind, so far, but still, sacrifice. Exhibit A: right. Mario is seasoned rice with minced shrimp and accented with nori. His hat is a carved BabyBel cheese round. The mushrooms - "bigs," as my son calls them - are corned beef and Laughing Cow on an organic version of Ritz crackers. Cara Cara oranges are (finally) in season and they

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-48112254676669613732010-01-07T07:49:00.000-08:002010-01-07T07:58:14.396-08:00

So, I was on the Yahoo! portal page today, and it wasn't a story about my arraignment. Looks like someone owes me a *double* cheeseburger and an apology. In that order, please and thank you very much, Fr. Dornan. It was, as one might expect if one is reading about it here, for making lunches like the one at right for Primo. You've got your PB&J sandwich adorned with carrot and wasabi peas (which

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-11887622150537271442009-12-21T09:11:00.000-08:002009-12-21T09:16:40.530-08:00

I'm pretty happy with this one. Primo's class was focusing on one letter of the alphabet each day, so I decided to combine that with the vacation countdown and this is what I came up with. You've got Uncle Scrooge strumming a ukulele, made from meat and cheese, sitting under an umbrella made from oro blanco (like a pomelo and/or a white grapefruit.) And, he's on vacation at a Floridian beach. The

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-69774063048860435392009-12-03T13:28:00.000-08:002009-12-03T13:28:00.743-08:00

I banged this out when the local paper came by a few weeks ago. It was during our vacation countdown and I wanted something that was easily recognizable, so I went with Mickey. He came out alright, all things considered. I hadn't really done one for an audience, but it didn't end up being much different. Normally it's the kids shouting questions from the other room. This time they were asked at a

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-23268729440073660192009-11-13T14:25:00.000-08:002009-11-13T19:06:06.223-08:00

This is a pinata tostada. It feels like I ought to have thought of a lot of rhyming words to cobble together into a sentence, but sometimes you've got to resist. There's a base of seasoned rice and refried butter beans beneath all the embellishment and the same beans cementing everything to a flour tortilla I cut into the shape of the pinata and fried until crispy. The pinata has stripes of diced

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-11020864613180961392009-11-05T09:44:00.000-08:002009-11-06T06:05:24.643-08:00

I had an interview with the local newspaper today. It was different working on one of these with other people in the room. I didn't quite finish in time to take the lunch I was working on to school, so I'm trying to decide whether to post it. Maybe if he eats it as a snack this afternoon. Okay, here's the other shoe: I sent a "plain" lunch with him in case what ended up happening happened. While

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-50258583314395571322009-10-28T13:40:00.000-07:002009-11-12T10:36:40.218-08:00

Primo's school is having activities and theme days leading up to Halloween. Yesterday was "Crazy Day," and kids were supposed to dress crazily to raise awareness about the crazy decision to try drugs. The implementation at our house involved putting everything on backwards. I thought a tinfoil hat and his old Little Tikes shopping cart might seem ... insensitive. Too bad, because it's already

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-9069215065284755412009-10-21T17:50:00.000-07:002009-10-21T17:50:34.023-07:00

Mr. Incredible here illustrates a kind of core conflict in these lunches. Namely, what am I okay putting in Primo's stomach to get the desired effect in the lunchbox? Don't get me wrong, there's nothing instantly harmful in this one. There are two different cheese foods, though. And Carl Buddig meat. It's okay to be skeptical about Carl Buddig, right? It's like $.80 a package. Somewhere along

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-59231192114767735932009-10-14T18:12:00.000-07:002009-10-14T18:25:36.242-07:00

You might call my eldest son an adventurous eater. He will gnaw the bones in a goat curry. He doesn't turn down jellyfish salad. He likes his fried tilapia whole ("with the face," as he has remarked. He has yet to opine on the merits of fava beans or a nice chianti.) So I felt confident sending this elephant to accompany a thermos of stewed lentils. I wasn't sure whether he'd eat the radishes

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-72155599929117517242009-10-09T11:46:00.000-07:002009-10-09T12:14:00.790-07:00

I made this in honor of a class trip to see "The Velveteen Rabbit" at our local children's theater. It's the titular bunny (lower left) nuzzling the old rocking horse (upper right) who teaches him about love. As a concept, not as an act. My wife was thrown by the rocking horse, who is a turkey, pastrami and cheese on whole wheat. His handles are made from Fairbury brand hot dogs and they are that

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-77445425632951457902009-10-05T12:43:00.000-07:002009-11-12T10:39:11.286-08:00

Here's a little break I took recently. It's a cake for my younger son, Secundo, and it was nice to not have to worry even to my usual extent about nutrition. Just sugar and various binders and syrups stuck to butter, sugar, eggs and flour using butter, sugar and cream with a generous amount of artificial coloring and flavoring mixed in. The frosting was made from scratch, but that's it.

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-22558940362544935912009-10-02T15:01:00.000-07:002009-11-12T10:40:21.281-08:00

Recreated here in Nutella (sending you straight to the store locator will only seem presumptuous until you have some,) bananas, apples, raisins, Life cereal, a maraschino cherry and some peanut butter "log," (peanut butter, honey and powdered milk combined to make a sort of clay) on toast is a familiar face from an animated favorite of mine. He's half of one of the most popular and beloved duos

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-58612861683388261332009-09-27T21:01:00.000-07:002009-09-28T19:14:11.559-07:00

After the Thing, I decided to get back to lunches that I could ship FedEx. Here's what I came up with. George is roast beef and turkey with brown mustard on whole wheat, sitting atop banana chips, broccoli and Cheez-Its. The banana is American and Swiss cheese on pepperoni stuck to a Ritz cracker with cream cheese. The little black dots are fish eggs; I don't think you can call something that

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-90998223347628529602009-09-24T22:23:00.000-07:002009-09-24T22:31:05.112-07:00

You may remember that I learned some lessons from the Joker episode. Well, I figured that the Thing fruit salad over here would be safe to travel when I cemented it in tapioca pudding. The Thing is cantaloupe scored to look like rocks. The "crash" and his mouth are carved apple. He's got ever-lovin' blueberry eyes and the debris is blueberries, grapes and maraschino cherries with

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-12307098743996971902009-09-22T10:08:00.000-07:002009-09-23T11:05:00.715-07:00

Primo is a big Wachowski fan, but since he thought my "V for Vendetta" chopped salad was Professor X talking to a clown, we went with Speed here. I'm kidding, of course. We didn't let our 5-year-old see "V for Vendetta." We learned our lesson with "Bound." The Mach 5 is turkey, pepperoni and provolone with mayo on the heel of a sourdough loaf and the wheels are dolmas. Speed Racer is a boiled egg

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-44619722635815727292009-09-21T12:59:00.000-07:002009-09-21T13:01:23.821-07:00

I made this for my wife. The ladybugs are pepperoni and cream cheese on Ritz crackers, the small mushrooms are radishes and the large one is a mini Babybel cheese wheel. The foreground is California roll sushi with dabs of wasabi, and the plant the ladybugs are hanging out on is cucumber and edamame in the shell. There are spicy pickled cauliflower and carrot accents. She had mentioned getting

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-72313511814646392232009-09-18T09:43:00.000-07:002009-11-12T10:41:44.838-08:00

Nemo here is an open-faced roast-beef and cheddar (yellow and white) sandwich with radish garnish. He's cemented to his whole-wheat base by garlic and chive cream cheese and he's floating in a sea of snow peas, edamame and dill pickle slices. The seaweed is ... well, seaweed. Without the flash from the camera, he looked more matte and cartoonish and, strange to say when speaking of a fish,

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-37337803529764639572009-09-15T14:19:00.000-07:002009-09-15T14:24:43.096-07:00

There was still plenty of rice left over from the Penguin, so I decided that, two weeks in, I had waited long enough to send my boy off with the first lunch that might actually embarrass him. The boys in the lunchroom can easily identify it as a panda. Any girls who come over for an eyeful the cuddly little guy ("OOOH!") will see that it is constructed from fish stuffed into rice and rolled in

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-17412527980699157672009-09-12T23:01:00.000-07:002009-09-15T08:55:21.285-07:00

Boy howdy do I hate mob movies! Vampire movies, too. If When they make the first movie about the vampire mafia ... well, I'm probably just going to exaggeratedly roll my eyes and blaspheme, but I'm really really not going to be happy. I'm not going to see "Don of the Dead." I'm not going to see "The Forsaken-by-God-Father." I might see "The Undeadables," if they get Sean Connery and some

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-30416328653558292782009-09-10T13:14:00.000-07:002009-09-15T08:57:27.063-07:00

Making these things is a coping mechanism. I used to try to do something fun with my older son, who we call Primo, every day those other miserable bastards were in school, and something special whenever we could. The park, the zoo, the pool, the library, the children's museum - all staples. Some, like the fire station and the strawberry patch and - one more nail in the coffin of the idea of an

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7810943924301648350.post-11265742229242901592009-09-10T07:43:00.000-07:002009-09-10T07:43:09.882-07:00

I’ve been a stay at home dad for just about three years. I like to think I’ve taken to it pretty well, considering. Both of my boys still have all the fingers and toes they started with, are free from scurvy and, to the best of my knowledge, don’t yet know about the wondrous pixies who live, waiting only to play with children, inside matchbooks. I’ve grown so fond of them during our time together

Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01577959924877380883noreply@blogger.com0